The pretty Monarch

How can something so pretty live for just a few weeks? This is what resonates in my mind when I look at butterflies. Flittering around you, making their way in and out, you can't stop and admire one. When I was younger, butterflies and dragonflies were a big part of my childhood. We'd often be found in the cemetary right next to our school playground, because that's where we'd find the most butterflies. For the most part they were simple brilliant yellow or muted white, but such grace and lightness neverthless succeeded in capturing our attention. So now when I come across a butterfly that's even prettier, I have to stop and stare, especially when it's a Monarch butterfly. I finally got a chance to capture this one at the Royal Botanical Gardens, which does boast a butterfly garden. This one actually stood still. They are restless lil' things, but so pretty right? I've always loved the Monarch because of its colours. So 70's...that just reminds me of the things that my family had around when I was growing up.

To the left, to the left

I've now been driving on the left hand side of the road for almost a year and may I say, I've made the mistake of switching to the opposite side of the road just once, while I was coming out of the gas station. The whizzing by of a car stopped me before I could even think about turning into the main road on the wrong side and thus gave me a rude reminder that I was driving in Bermuda. This is where it gets complicated, when you're day dreaming and a turn onto the wrong side of the road is all you need to cause a an accident or even worse, a fatality. While driving a car is much more safer than a bike, it's what will collide with your car that you have to watch out for.

This past week saw the death of an American visitor, who was driving a rental bike (scooter). She leaves behind her husband and 2 children, one of which (her daughter) was with her at the time of the accident. This was her second visit. A family now mourns the loss of their wife/mother. How incredibly sad and unfortunate!

Of course issues have re cropped as to how tougher measures should be put into place to screen North American visitors to ensure that they can handle driving a scooter (since car rentals are not an option in Bermuda) because the current philosophy of 'Don't Worry' & 'Driving around first in the parking lot is all the practice you need' is just not going to cut it. But no matter how rigorous the screening that may take place, you are bound to switch back to your old ways of driving on the right hand side of the road. Like I said, I've been driving for almost a year on the left hand side of the road, and I sometimes still stop and think about which side of the road I should embark on, right after I remember my current co-ordinates.

Easter Monday

If Bermuda is a British territory, then shouldn't Easter Monday be a statutory holiday across the board, not just at the banks and at the governement offices? I'm just saying...

Black History Month

I meant to post this at the end of February but somehow the weeks have slipped away. And then I saw this post from this Bermuda blogger and thought I just had to post this, as late as it may be. His view is that Black History Month is irrelevant in Bermuda, which I thought very interesting. Perhaps it's in the little communities that it's more prevalent. Here are some of my favourite Bermudians decked out in their native African wear to celebrate Black History Month. A performance on some genuine African drums, brought all the way from a certain tribe in Africa was also accompanied by a celebratory luncheon.

Some African vignettes...











And a video of the African Drums (you know I've got a video...)

March break

If you already live on a tropical island, do you still get the itch to escape to another tropical island for March break? What if the island you live on is Bermuda, would you still want to visit another island, one with warmer or lets say a hotter climate. Ain't Bermuda hot enough this winter? We've hardly had any rain. With people March breaking in Bermuda from other parts of the world, would you still March break elsewhere? Where would you go? Florida, Cuba, the Caribbean?

Say what

One of my favourite Bermudian sayings: Do I look like I just came down with that last drop of rain...
The other one is: Stop your noise...

Smokin' a doobie

I once read that in & around 1962 there were only six drug dealers in Bermuda, and Social Services knew and were in touch with all six of them. Well, you're not going to find that level of closeness today and especially not with the number of dealers in Bermuda, of which I have no idea about. I just know there's more than six today.

We've always been told to guard our belongings especially laptops, since they're prized articles in a robbery in the way of garnering some drug money. The government is vigilant about drugs making its way onto the island. How vigilant?

Well, we once heard this story: A certain expat/visitor had with him his golf clubs as he made his entry into Bermuda. The police dog (an Alsatian/ German Shepperd) they had on duty sniffed the clubs, giving Customs officers cause to investigate further. So what did they do? They snipped off the drivers of his clubs. All of them. You would think they'd have stopped at the first one, but just to be sure they cut them all off. No drugs of any kind were found and they waved him away. What about my golf clubs, asked the golfer. How am I supposed to play golf now? Not our concern, was what the wave meant. So, that's how vigilant they can be. And that only gives rise to the black market, which make no mistake, does exist here (or so I've heard).

I also have another hilarious story about a recent robbery which I so want to share with you but can't yet. I will share however, once we've left the island for good. And I almost didn't publish this post, but then I received this in my inbox and thought it very coincidental. One should never ignore coincidences, especially since in life, there are no coincidences.

Minnie's yellow shoes

This is my landlady, MsStopYourNoise's 10 month old grand niece in her Halloween costume - dressed up as Minnie Mouse. When she showed me this picture I just had to take a picture of it. What got me was how her costume was complete with Minnie's signature yellow shoes. Can we talk about the shoes for a minute? When I was a little girl, Minnie Mouse was a huge part of my cartoon world. I'd often look at her in her red and white polka dotted dress and then the shoes and think: I don't think those yellow shoes go with that dress. Where's the yellow in the dress? Interesting how I aware of colour co-ordination back then. But I do remember scrutinizing Minnie's yellow shoes, noting the small heels. Like I said, a huge part of my life. So, when I saw this picture, those long forgotten memories just came flooding back, ones I have not thought about for perhaps 25 some odd years. It took me back to a happy place. A very happy place.

Free for all?

Bermuda makes about $12 million USD annually from public transportation (including ferry rides). A fair chunk of this change comes from the many tourists that visit the island. Bermuda has long since stopped car rental service here on the island, so it's either taxis or public transportation for the tourists. In an effort to curb traffic and to encourage residents to go the public transportation route, a proposal had been made last year to offer this service for free.

What was interesting however is the way that the proposal was re announced last week. It was stated that this free service of public transportation would be made available to all Bermudians (senior citizens already travel free of charge - take a page Toronto!). Bermuda is fast becoming an even more expensive island to live in and with many Bermudians having to work two to three jobs just to make ends meet, I thought well, it would only make sense that this service be offered exclusively to Bermudians. The island has to take care of its own. Besides most expats can bloody well afford to pay the bus/ferry fare, given that a monthly unlimited pass costs about $54

But then someone made a stink about the way it was announced and the statements were revised to state that expats would also be included in the free public transport deal. Honestly, I don't think the proposal was meant to exclude expats. I think they were thinking more along the lines of visitors vs residents and it sounded easier being stated this way. This proposal was a pre-election promise and (read between the lines here) such promises have to be tailored to appeal to the eligible voters on the island, i.e. Bermudians. There's no such thing as being clear cut and concise in the political world anywhere, is there?

Barnes, Johnny Barnes

For many, Friday signals the weekend, a break from a work week that for some may be hellish. Let's face it, not everyone likes their job, some even loathe it. That Confucius saying: 'Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life'? Yeah, that may apply to only a minuscule of a population. However much you dread your job, can't stand to work with the people around you, cringe at the very thought of going in, fear not if you're in Bermuda because this island has a secret weapon. He's called Barnes, Johnny Barnes.

Mr. Barnes stands at the busiest round-a-bout in Bermuda (more specifically in Hamilton) every weekday morning from 5:00am to 10:00am and greets commuters with a never ending chorus of 'Good Morning' and 'God Bless You' and 'I Love You' which sounds like 'Ilovya, Ilovya, Ilovya' (because let's face it, he has to make sure he targets every person that's driving through. That's a lot of I Love Yous. Tagging him as you drive right past him is a must and will most assuredly get you the widest smile you didn't think possible. Mr. Barnes does not care if you're local or expat, black or white, woman or man. Rain or shine, Mr. Barnes is out there, appropriately attired for the weather and sticks around even when traffic increases and spews out exhaust fumes that are unbearable. He will tag you, smile and wave at you and holler I Love Yous because he knows that's the start of a good day and those smiles are so very contagious. He will stop to have his picture taken anywhere (like the one above featuring a resident and her visiting mother), hand you his very own postcard (which he sells for a dollar) and will also pray with you (amist the hustle and bustle of traffic) before he sends you off.

Johnny Barnes started greeting commuters in 1983. He was about 60 at the time. A retired bus driver, born of migrant parents that originated from the West Indies island of St. Kitts, Mr. Barnes is also known as the 'Happy Man'. His message of love has inspired many and the fact that he's still going strong 20 years later, is a testament to how much love this man truly has for everyone. Mr. Barnes has been honoured with a 6 1/2 foot statue of himself in his most famous pose and has also been honoured by Queen Elizabeth II. He truly is the island's most famous resident and at 84 there is no stopping him.
You can read more about Johnny Barnes here or here.

Below is a short (4 second) video of Johnny Barnes. Apologies for the squished funny look and the not so great quality (Mr. Barnes is not that short and it's a long story).

A total eclipse of the...

When I was about three or so, I managed to burn my hand on a hot iron whilst my mother was ironing. I can't remember which hand it was, but I literally laid my palm flat against the hot iron as it stood upright on the board. I don't know why I did it. She did tell me moments before to be careful of the iron and that it was hot. Perhaps I wanted to find out what hot really meant. What do three year olds know anyway? Oh! you can imagine the tears, the howling and the screams that followed. My grandfather, who was living with us in Dubai at the time, gathered me up in his arms, as my mother applied the best salve she had. I continued screaming to no end. In an attempt to stop my howling, he took me up on the terrace of our villa and began to sing while pointing out the moon and stars (and boy could the man sing!). It was all so distracting, that I soon forgot all about my throbbing palm and stopped crying as the songs turned into stories about the stars in the sky. They say stars are brighter in a desert sky? It's true. I remember it all so clearly, even to this day. It's a lovely memory, and perhaps this is the reason why I have always been fascinated by the moon, the stars and astronomy. One of the neat things about Bermuda is that the stars shine brighter here and are more visible due to the absence of street lighting. This is a pleasure forgone when living in a big city. Visitors will actually notice without us even prompting or letting on. A full moon reflecting off the ocean is just as breathtaking. The pictures on the right taken during our first year is proof of just how beautiful the full moon can be. OK, so I love the moon, and that would make sense because I am such a night owl.

Last evening, I actually managed to check out The Royal Gazette online only to find that there would be a Total Lunar Eclipse taking place at around 9:00pm and apparently Bermuda would be the best place to be to view it. Amid my excitement, I called our landlady, MsStopYourNoise, only to have her tell me that it would be taking place around 11:00pm and that I should know not to trust The Royal Gazette by now. I told her there was no way I was going to miss the eclipse, no matter what time it made its debut. I got camera ready and headed out around 11:00 pm. Many many shots later and after fiddling around with the camera options, here are my a few of MY favourite shots (which don't do the actual sighting any justice whatsoever) taken with MY Sony Cybershot Digital Cam (that's literally on its last leg). Last night left me wishing I had my telescope here in Bermuda, so I could have got a closer look of the moon as it went from bright white to a deep red during the eclipse (absolutely gorgeous). Had I known earlier there was going to be an eclipse, I would have told EVERYONE! The Royal Gazette was right about one thing though: Bermuda just may have been the best place to view the eclipse, not only because of its mild cool evening, but because it offered us a view of the eclipse in a cloudless sky.
We would have celebrated my Grandfather's 96th birthday this Saturday the 24th. And so, Grandpa, this one's for you...for distracting me with the moon.

Jinx

I think I might have jinxed it, because it's dull and dreary here today. Very dull and very dreary. And not to mention damp and rainy. The slew of cars making their way into town was a line so long. Of course, wet Bermuda roads will give anyone a reason to commute via car as opposed to a bike. With the series of dips in many of Bermuda's roads, it's not fun being on a bike and getting splashed and showered with an unholy amount of less than clean water as the big cars and buses zip past. Here is where a good quality rainsuit comes in handy, because here in Bermuda, when it rains it really pours (from all sides).

Let's just ask the groundhog

Many ask whether it snows here in Bermuda and the answer to that is NO!
That's why we moved here. Joke! Our real motivation was the almost tax free income. So, no it does not snow. Maybe a chance of hail and that's as close to snow as it gets. That's how close Bermuda's residents would want it to get.

The other question I'm asked is: what's the weather like in February? Will it rain? Will I be able to go to the beach? May I just say, it's hit or miss. I can't predict what it's going to be like next week but it's been extraordinarily dry thus far for February. If you are visiting Bermuda this month and are hoping for this trend to continue, well, then it just may. But don't take my word for it. Take a groundhog's.

What's a groundhog got to do with the weather, you ask? Many in Bermuda have not even heard of the whole concept of Groundhog Day (which I honestly do not get the point of even now). Bermuda does not need a groundhog, anyway. We have just two seasons, Summer and Spring. But how two first world nations (that means you, Canada & America) can leave spring weather predictions to an animal, I'll never understand. I guess every country is quirky in its own way, but seriously. A groundhog prediction on how much longer winter is going to last, depending on whether or not it sees its own shadow, when it comes out of it burrow on the appointed day? Come on!

Ninja spider

This was taken at Admirality Cove, north of Hamilton. I don't know what kind of spider it's supposed to be, but it looks like the Ninja of all spiders. I think I'm going to call it NINJA SPIDER. It's like a cross between a tarantula, a crab and a spider (and I say that because you're actually looking at the underside of the spider). Getting a front shot was not an option, unless I could fly. Sometimes I wonder where these things come from. You'll not find a spider like this in Canada and it's thing I've had to get used to upon moving here. Oh, the bugs! And you know how I previously said I don't mind spiders sticking around, well, I'd not want this thing anywhere near me. It looks mighty mean (the closer and longer you look, the meaner it gets), like it could do some serious damage and because of that, naming it is as far as I'm going to go.

Travel nonsense

One would think that due to its close proximity to the Caribbean, there would be direct flights from Bermuda to these other sunny islands. Alas, no. Because that would actually make sense. Instead, flights with a stop over in Miami, is how one would be able to get to the Caribbean from Bermuda (or vice versa). There's also longer non-direct flights where one would actually have a stopover in NY or Philly or Washington before heading to the Caribbean. Looking at the map from yesterday's post, you can see that you're practically backtracking, literally flying up North just to get down further South. Because this actually makes sense. And finally there are non-direct flights from Bermuda to say Miami, with stop overs in NY or even Philly. But of course you'd not want to take a flight like this, unless you're forced to - like if you missed your initial direct flight and have to wait around and take whatever's available. It's been known to happen.

Where exactly are we?

Apropos to yesterday's post, here's some further clarification as to where exactly this island is located. There is much confusion. I'm always asked, Where is Bermuda and how far is it from home (Toronto). I took the liberty of digitally capturing this map (seen many times before but on not such large a scale). Keep in mind that in the map shown here, Bermuda is not to scale with the rest of North America, and that the Caribbean Islands (not shown here) are South of Miami. And so presenting....

Just what do you mean by Bajan?

About a month ago, I received an anonymous comment on this post, asking me: "Isn't it Bajan, rather than Bermudian?" At first, I wasn't sure what they meant and I hesitated to publish the comment, lest 'Bajan' was a derogatory word of some sort, especially since it came from an anonymous commenter. Where I come from, Bajan or a variation of it, is the Indian (Hindi) word for a song of worship, a hymn if you will. So, you really never know, do you? Different words mean so many things in different languages. Like 'Puta' is a term of endearment for one's child in yet another Indian language (Konkani) and also means son in the Sri Lankan language, Sinhalese, but at the other end of the spectrum, 'Puta' is the vulgar word for a prostitute in Spanish (and we all know what that is). Go figure!

So, I looked up the term Bajan, because there was no way I was going to have any derogatory comments on this site. Turns out it isn't a derogatory term at all, but it actually means Barbadian Creole (an English based Creole language). And perhaps this is where the confusion lies. Bermuda is not part of the Caribbean, nor anywhere near it. It it were, then yes the term Bajan would most definitely apply in this case. Bermuda also does not like to be told that it's part of the Caribbean and will proudly point out that it's part of North America, and is an island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean off of the American East Coast. And Bermuda is not part of America either. It is not the 51st state (wait I thought that was reserved for Canada) and it is not an American territory either. It is clearly a British overseas territory, with the Queen as the Head of State and it's own independent Parliament to match. In fact, Bermudians take pride that they're not part of the Caribbean and will so vehemently remind you of this fact. I get the feeling they like to be known as the lone ranger in the vast deep blue sea, in that context.

So, don't you dare get it wrong again. Pull out a map! Because is that really so hard? You may not find Bermuda because it is so tiny, it barely makes a blimp on the map. Regardless, it's no excuse, you hear. Totally unacceptable! It's like someone saying to an Indian: Hey, aren't you from Pakistan? (such a running joke for me growing up) Or someone mistaking a Canadian for an American (such a running joke for me now).

Joke! Joke! Joke! Come now, you know I love you, my American peeps.

Have you lost a floodlight?

I came across this in The Royal Gazette today:

Have you lost a floodlight?
Police are searching for the owners of a 1,500 watt floodlight which was seized during a raid in Smith's last month.
Officers have made inquiries with the Island's sports clubs but have so far been unable to find the rightful owner of the large silver light, which is attached to a box marked 'Hubbell'.
Anyone with information about the item should contact the St. George's criminal investigation unit at Southside Police Station on 278-5105 or 293-2222.

1,500 Watts? I mean really, aren't we under an environmental crisis of some kind? Something about employing energy efficient means to utilise current non renewable resources wisely? Something about burning less fuel? Something about Global Warming? And really, why would anyone want to steal a 1,500 watt floodlight, anyway? Why take on the blame for being so wasteful? There's a reason why it' hasn't been claimed yet. They know they are going to be marked as solely responsible for reaching the levels of CO2 for Bermuda. 1,500 watts! Honestly, some one's not got their head screwed on right!

Your mom has an ipod ???

You've left Home to come here to work and reside on this island as an expat, but you've never really left home. Have you heard that before? No? Well, that's because I just made it up. When I say you've never really left home, I mean that you still carry it with you. Your hangouts, your routes, roads that you know like the back of your hand. If you're a woman, malls that you know like the back of your hand, and not to mention mall timings that have been ingrained in your memory. Frequent or once a year trips made back home will only reaffirm how much you have not forgotten your hometown and how these yearly trips home never really let you forget as you revisit your favourite haunts.

My mother is probably the most technologically involved female of her generation. I'm talking about an MS Office Advanced+ user, who knows the difference between Explorer and Firefox, who owns more iPods than most and is on her way to acquiring the new iPhone (apparently she can't wait and funnily enough her brother, UncleTigerBeer doesn't seem to get what the big deal is). Surprising, yes? Perhaps I take it for granted now, but where was this hip cool mom 20 years ago? Could you imagine the gadgets we'd have had as toys? Anyway, I realise not every mom of her generation is as technologically inclined as she is.

Case in point: a few years ago when I first mentioned in passing to my brother-in-law about my mom's iPod Mini, he looked at me with this shocked expression on his face and said (I kid you not) THREE times:
"Your mom has an iPod?"
"Yes" (in a matter of fact tone)
"Your mom has an iPod?" (with slightly more emphasis)
"Yes" (a little more matter of fact)
"Your mom has an iPod?" (with maximum emphasis)
"Yessssssss"
"Why?" says he.
"To listen to music." says I. "You know music? The thing that everyone listens to."
"Yes. Yes." says he. And then, "Oh." Like she's one of those moms.

Yes I know, I do have the memory of an elephant! Now I'm not going to give out her exact age, because this blog will be shut down faster than any one can say, 'Your mom has an iPod?' But suffice to say she's of the baby boom era, the LATE LATE baby boom era. So here she is, very computer savvy, knows all about MSN Messenger, Google Talk, Google Maps...the works. Oh and I can't forget YouTube. That one's her favourite. Not to mention iTunes (for how else would she be able to update her ipods). My dad's catching upto to her quite nicely, too! I mean this is what I came home to one evening after a night out during Christmas week in Toronto. Yes, they both actually have their own laptops (who needs a built in intercom when you need to get a message across while on different floors of the house - that's what cell phones and chat programs are there for!). But that's not what they're doing here. Here they are working.
So, for all their tech savvyness (we can blame my brother for this one), there are some things my mother will still message me (here in Bermuda) about my hometown that is Toronto, bearing in mind I haven't lived in Toronto for the past three years not counting the yearly one week visits.

Questions like:
"What time does the mall close on Saturday." (Yes, she means the mall by her Toronto home, my former place of residence, which also has its own website - the mall not the house).
"What bus route do I take if I want to get to Place X". OR
"What subway stop should I get off at, if I want to get to Place Y."

It's not that Mom's lazy because lazy is not a word in her dictionary, it's just that she claims she busy with other things. Sometimes I'll give her the answers right away if I know them or I'll look them up. But sometimes, just sometimes, I'll tease her saying: "You know Mom, I don't live in Toronto anymore. I've been in Bermuda for like three years now. You can't expect me to remember all this stuff anymore."

And her response is, "Well look it up. I'm too busy to do it. Besides, what else are you there for? You're my secretary."

As you can see, she's also a funny one. And since she'll read about this sometime today, first thing she'll say is:
Stupid Girl (with a slight Indian accent) Why are you writing about me???

And Hubby reading this will laugh at my Mom calling me Stupid Girl, since he's heard her call me that before and thinks it's hilarious that my Mom addresses me so. He's even dared to repeat it as he laughs. The nerve!

What the ****

No matter how macho an expat guy is, no matter how tall, or big or big boned, or fierce or aggressive, no matter how tough, no matter what - his reaction on spotting a Bermuda roach for the first time is always going to be this: WHAT THE F***!?!?!?!
Unless he's spent time on some other tropical locale or has grown up in a country hot enough to have roaches as endemic as the other bugs, this is going to be his first counter with a roach (a flying one if it's a female) - the size of one's index finger (upgrade that to the size of one's middle finger if one is at either ends of the island and by that I mean you Somerset & St. George's). First impressions are everything and these things sure do know how to get a reaction out of you.

Now men, don't be all macho and go at the roach with your size 12 shoe. That makes it worse if its a female roach you've just flattened. You can bet her eggs have flown all over the floor into who knows what crack or crevice. Be a real man. Get close up to it with that Baygon (illegal in North America but so legal in Bermuda) and spray the living daylights out of it. (Play that Macho Man song in your head if it helps). What's that you say? Too close for comfort? Yeah, I thought so...

Instead of rain

It's February and ordinarily cold in many a place, not to mention snowing. But here in Bermuda we've been awarded a week of sunshine that's making it quite nice and hot (you won't be needing soup of any kind to warm the cockels of your heart this week). It's even hot enough to get a tan. And for that I'm thankful.

Reading between the lines

As a child, when I first heard of the term 'read between the lines', I stopped to think, Which lines? I'm looking at the lines and I don't see anything. It's a difficult concept to explain to a child, a concept that is only made clear once a certain level of maturity is reached, where irony reveals itself and where innocence is slowly lost. Basically, when you're older!

While there are so many things I'd like to convey about what life is like on this island for an expat, I have to adopt a more conservative attitude so as not to rock 'de' boat. I may never be able to voice them, because they always say 'Never Burn your Bridges'. Which reminds me: for many expats, their first experience with working with an offshore company may not necessarily be pleasant. Long working hours and unprofessional management are two of the biggest complaints. However upset you may be at your employer and no matter what you may want to say truthfully in your Exit Interview, one has to be diplomatic. This is a route that all are advised to take, because you never know...And so in being diplomatic and professional, you move on. It might not feel good not having to give your previous employer 'the finger', so to speak, but it does feel good knowing where you're going next, whether it be on island or off. If it's on island, you know that your time already spent here with your first employer has given you an insight as to which companies to avoid the next time around, which ones may make you work like a dog, evening & weekends and of course which of the many are Grade A choice. While it always helps to know someone here to garner some information about companies and their work ethic, not everyone is in the position of having this information at hand before they've stepped foot on the island. The reason why this is such a big deal? An expat is only allowed to have two employers in the first five years on the island, with a change to a third in the sixth year. With the current term limit for expats set at six years (unless you're a key employee), decisions with regards to the next job offer cannot be made lightly. And so the second and third time around is much easier and it all boils down to exercising diplomacy (with your previous employer) and smarts (in choosing your future employer).

There are many Bermudian bloggers out here that have been blogging about the political ongoings of this their island but in recent months quite a few of them have given up and some have stopped altogether (perhaps some threats have been made). So, if a dangerous realm is what they've stepped in by voicing their opinions about their own land in what would seem to be an era of freedom of speech, I have to stop and think about how much hot water I may be in if I were to delve deeper into the throes of expat life, however accurate and objective it might be. Some are just not inclined to want to hear it.

With a housing crisis, rising cost of living, over population abound and not to mention a fair share of resentment directed towards expats, where while International Business is welcomed although not acknowledged as the main pillar of the economy (which it so truthfully is), where words like 'expats are treated like second class citizens' are thrown around, one has to read between the lines here. It's tricky bringing to light some of the issues without having to actually be blatant about it. One also has to bear in mind that much of the hoopla that has been taking place the past few months has been a result of the Elections that took place in December. In a bid to gain a majority vote, a lot of huffing and puffing was done by both parties, regardless at who's expense it was at. But now that the elections are over and done with, calm has been restored. Policies and measures that threatened to change lives (both expat and local) last year, no longer hang in the balance. They have disappeared, so to speak. The air has been cleared. But while all of this was going on, other offshore jurisdictions (like the Cayman Islands, Bahamas et al.) watched with bated breath, read the ongoings zealously, perhaps sometimes shaking their heads wondering what we expats in Bermuda thought and felt about all this. Well, unless you've read between the lines and have come to your own conclusion, you're not going to hear it from me.

No speak English

When I first got here I'd take the bus into town if I had any errands to run. The route where I live is quite a busy one. On this one instance as I waited, I saw a man, a young man about my age, walking towards me. He looked a bit funny with his brown paper bag that concealed a bottle, of beer no doubt. He was either drunk or high or both. He definitely looked a little off with his hooded jacket and a sinister look to match. He kept walking back and forth, muttering to himself, at times making eye contact. It wasn't so much that I was scared, it's just that when dealing with someone unstable you never know what to expect next, no matter how much experience you may have had in the past.

Then along came an senior Bermudian man and stood next to me at the bus stop. Of course, he sensed my discomfort and looked at me and said. 'You know, these guys, if they ever try to talk to you, just look at them shake your head and say "No speak English". They tend to leave you alone after that.'
I stood there not knowing what to say in response, except Thank You, since I was a little preoccupied in trying to figure out what the heck he meant. And while I've seen both men on the island since then, I never fail to remember the older one's words.

Bermuda is an island where the single women get hit on all the time. The stories I've heard from my single gals, and some of them quite shocking. All I know is Bermudian men don't mess with women that don't speak English. Apparently!

On the run

An article in the newspaper last week caught my eye. It said: 'Police chase ends in arrest'. The following was my train of thought...
...
Well, how else was it supposed to end?
We're on an island!
Almost all roads are one lane.
There's only so many places one can escape to and it's not that kind of an escape.
Not like one can cross interstate lines and actually hide somewhere.
Everyone knows everyone here. Someone's bound to rat on the man.
Fool Fool Fool!
Why bother even making those cops chase him? Unless he a helicopter waiting at the other end of the island, he should have just given himself up in the first place.

Rooster crossing

Bermuda roosters are so smart, they cross at the crosswalks. I swear! We came across this one at the crosswalk a couple of days ago, and silly me, I didn't stop for it to cross. I should have, right? I mean animals also count as pedestrians when they cross at the crosswalk, right? Arrgh! Anyway, the rooster actually backtracked when it saw I wasn't going to wait and so it waited for me to drive past, only after which it crossed the street. Just goes to show they're smarter than we give them credit for. Either that or it must have seen one too many of its friends get slammed by a car.

How's that for learned behaviour! I kid you not, this works with pigeons too back in Toronto. Dumb things would always gather at the edge of the sidewalk on the street further up where I lived and wouldn't even move, never mind the oncoming traffic. My brother says they can't gauge how far away the car is due to their eyesight being two dimensional, or something like that. Anyway, they'd be in the la la land until smack, one of them would end up as road kill. Well, then surprisingly they'd all be off the road. For days they'd not venture past the sidewalk. You could just about imagine them whispering to each other: Oh crap, look at Bob there! Dead!
Of course, this would only last until 'Bob' was cleaned up, and then back they were on the roads again, until their friends Tom, Dick, Harry, Sue, Jane and Sally all suffer the same fate, at different intervals. Forgetful things, aren't they? I don't care much for pigeons, they could be extinct for all I care (in fact they should be!), but after this rooster incident, you know I'm going to feel guilty about eating a chicken the next time around.

Park it!

You know what bothers me about Bermuda? It's the parking spots. Well, it's not so much the parking spots, but rather the people that park their gigantic cars in these parking spots. First of all, I can never understand the need for SUV's and Hummers on the island. I understand the need for minivans, if you've got kids, but an SUV? A Hummer? Seriously? How much protection do you need when you're on the road out here, where the speed limit is 35 kms? Besides, a Hummer pretty much takes up the entire width of the one way lane here, so what's the point? And don't even get me started on how much gas these things guzzle up. With gas prices here at around $1.79 a litre, don't you feel the pinch at the pump?

And I notice it's always these mega vehicle owners that never seem to get it right while parking, especially in a crowded parking lot. Are people not aware that it's Bermuda & space is at a premium? Everywhere! I've many a time arrived at my destination, only to find some 'moron' taking up two parking spots. No, it's not that the vehicle is spilling over, it's that the vehicle is literally parked flat in the middle of the line, thereby taking up TWO whole parking spots. How much of a hurry are they in? Are they reserving the other spot for their friend? What is it? It's not like they're in Canada where a layer of hardened snow has covered up the entire lot, thereby erasing any visible lines whatsoever. And even then people are considerate! They gauge and adjust, leaving room for their fellow driver, friend or not. Take a page, people, take a page!

I swear, next time this happens, I am going to take a picture of your car and post it here, licence plate and all!

There, rant over!

The Sea Urchin

This here is a Sea Urchin, found around the same place as the CowFish, at the shallower end of Flatts Inlet. The water here was only about a foot deep and of course clearer. Almost makes you want to reach out and touch it! Well, if you're at the Aquarium, one of their sections which stands seperate from the Aquarium, allows you to do just that. A shallow pond gives you access to Urchins from which you are encouraged to pick up and get a feel of what they're like. Kids love doing this and are not at all hesitant to pick one and play with it, if only for a few moments. Ensuring that their hands are clean before they reach in to grab themselves an urchin, is another matter.

Honeycomb Cowfish

One of the exciting things about living in Bermuda (like any other tropical island) is being exposed (face to face in some cases) to so many varieties of tropical fish. It can be thrilling, if you're into that sort of thing. For some are truly afraid of the water and what it holds, but fear not. You need not be in the water here in Bermuda to have an encounter with any of the island's beautiful marine inhabitants. There are plenty of places here where one can just stand by the docks and have a look at what's swimming down below. Just make sure to carry some food with you to lure these dwellers to come out in the open.

This one featured here is the Honeycomb Cowfish. Cowfish are often lumped together with its cousins, the Trunkfish. They are apparently more beautiful when in the water, not so much when taken out. They can be found near reefs of ranging in depth of 3 to 80 meters. This Honeycomb Cowfish pictured here was found off the docks at the Flatts Inlet. It was a sunny beautiful day when I decided to visit with some leftover orzo (rice shaped pasta). A little girl was more than happy to feed the fish, leaving me free to snap up pictures of whatever came into view. This Cowfish made numerous appearances which I how I managed to capture this little gem of a shot as it swam up to the surface. I kid you not! See the bubbles? The bubbles (and of course the ripples) are proof , if you doubt me so. (My friend H, better not tell me this picture has been Photoshopped as well). Honeycomb Cowfish are commonly found in Bermuda, Brazil, and apparently as far as New Jersey(!?). During mating period, the male Honeycomb Cowfish turn a deep blue and emits an audible hum. While I've yet to come across a Cowfish while snorkeling, I think this picture and video just about makes up for it in the meantime. And, as I was leaving, I also spotted a baby Honeycomb Cowfish but was unable to capture it on film (It was tiny - no bigger than one's palm). Maybe next time...

COWFISH VIDEO

A global freeze

It's been cold the last few days. And dreary. With not much rain, mind you. And while no, it does not snow here in Bermuda, there is the off chance that if it's cold enough, we do get hit with hail. That hasn't happened yet. Every one's looking forward to the weather letting up, especially since it was warm and sunny all of last week.

It's been raining cats and dogs in Dubai. So much so, that areas have been severely flooded. While the UAE had always boasted a modern infrastructure, not much thought was given to drainage systems. My mother reminded me that the heavy winter rainfall has only come into existence in the last ten years or so. Which is true - I don't really remember it raining all that much when I was a child. A family member sent me an email with pictures to showcase the flooding in and around town and one of them happened to be of my old diggs. Along with the email was posted average temperatures for the week and I kid you not, it had day time highs of about 20 deg C. That's cooler than Bermuda! An aunt in Qatar was telling me how it dropped down to 5 dec C the other day and all I could say was: That's it! You might as well move to Canada!
You know what all of this is right? I'll spell it out: G L O B A L W A R M I N G!

And so, here I am on 'de rock' on other side of the world, way north of the hot sunny Caribbean, waiting for the sun to come out and stay. Visiting Bermuda during the winter is in most cases a hit or miss, for those of you who have been inquiring. You never know when you're going to be blessed with warm sunny weather for a week at a stretch. Not that I'm complaining. I can't really. I've got all those Canadian residents (aka family) on my back, phish poshing my Bermuda cold weather concerns.

Hardy har har

A while ago, a childhood friend of mine from India happened to look through the Marine Life Slideshow from when it was first posted. He was mesmerised by the very first picture - the Parrotfish. In response he emailed: Oh, that's really good Photoshop! At first I had no idea what the blazes he was trying to say until I was finally able so ask him directly when he came online a few weeks later. Our conversation was as follows:

H: The marine life slideshow...there is no Parrotfish.

Me: Maybe the slideshow hasn't loaded yet.

H: I meant there is no fish called Parrotfish.

Me: Well, here in Bermuda there is!

H: And this is a digitally edited image.

Me: (Wha...? How dare he say any of my pictures have been digitally edited!) Which image?

H: The Parrotfish.

Me: Ummm...I took that picture.

H: The Parrotfish?

Me: Yes. All those pics are mine.

H: Is it? Seriously?

Me: Yes. They're real fish. Fish I have seen with my own eyes while snorkeling...

H: Well, then...

(Yeah that's right! It's all real! Nothing fake here.)

So H! When I captured this as I overlooked the docks at Flatts Inlet (Yes, the water is that clear), I thought of how skeptical you were the first time around. And so you doubting Thomas here's another to prove that ParrotFish do exist (not only in Bermuda but also in the Middle East). Not to mention they're Bermuda's National Fish.

To those of you who are in the same circle of childhood friends as H & I, you should by now have identified H. I mean, I've given you two clues already.