Double takes

Friday evening. Downtown Toronto. My mother walking the streets and she notices a nun walking ahead of her. Not just any nun, but a 'young black nun'. This definitely holds her attention because here is a nun walking the streets of Toronto. She's intrigued and thinks to herself: This nun is young. You don't see that anymore and you definitely don't see nuns walking about out on the streets. Mere moments later, the nun is spotted chatting on the cell phone and my mother thinks to herself: 'Shit, they let nuns have cell phones these days? What the heck is this? What kind of nunnery is this?'
And then it dawns on her that it's Halloween and this nun is no nun at all.
My mother! The stunts she pulls and the things she says always makes us laugh and this time I've forewarned her that this is going on the blog.

And here I am...
Friday evening. Seven Mile Beach, Grand Cayman. Happy hour. Where no sooner than we arrive, one of my former co-workers whom I had seen just a month earlier, walks in. My jaw drops and my eyes pop out because here is she is walking in looking all cool and pregnant. And for the few moments that I am left speechless, the following thoughts run through my head: What? When? Who's the daddy? She knows she's got your attention and that shock value, and she smiles, which is when I spot her black tooth, coloured to make it seem like it's missing. And yes, I slap my forehead because the tooth is a dead giveaway that it's Halloween. How could I have forgotten? I think it was because the hardcore Halloweeners hadn't arrived yet. Laughs later, she poses with a beer in one hand, and a cigarette in another while we snap away, also in the hopes that a concerned someone walking by may give her a good piece of their mind on the perils of drinking and smoking while pregnant. I have to say, on that night her persona was very reminiscent of the female characters on AMC's Mad Men, an awesome show set in the 60's. If you haven't watched it, you should. I highly recommend it.

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

To this day, I have never been able to understand sibling rivalry. I have just one sibling, my younger brother, Newt and there is absolutely no sibling rivalry between us, never has been. As a child he'd always copy me and thankfully he hasn't continued this trend into adulthood because he is way more successful than I. Not only can he solve pretty much any darn computer problem, he's a wiz with math and not to mention his writing style can kick mine out the window anyday. I've mentioned numerous times how he should blog but that's never going to happen.

Although, we'd fight a lot growing up (and sometimes still do), it's all forgotten in the next five minutes. We can never be angry at each other for very long, which is a good thing, because he'd be bored out of his mind. Just a few days ago, I was discussing this post with him, since he rarely reads my blog. And as predicted, he pitched a fit about pasting our online conversation on the blog, but thankfully followed that up with a 'Oh but I liked how you called me a lean mean teasing machine.' (!?!?!)

It's his birthday today and even though we are a year and a half apart, I can't believe how old he is now. I cannot imagine what it would have been like growing up without him, because all his daring boy antics (stupid at times) and all the ridiculous tricks we played on each other made things so much fun. I post this picture of us (him in his leather jacket and all), taken sometime in the 80's. I love this picture because it always reminds me of how much he looked up to me at that age, not to mention how he'd always come running to me to solve his school bullies of a problem. This was also the age where he'd stick to my side as we traveled unaccompanied between Dubai and Bombay, afraid that I might lose him at any moment at the airport or during the transoceanic flight. Stuck to my side, I tell you. So many memories, so little time. Besides, I'd better stop because he hates it when I get all emotional.

Happy Birthday, Bro! I'm so proud of you!!!

Grandma

A tribute to my beloved maternal grandmother who passed away 10 years ago, this day.

Lenny P.
Nurse, Feminist, beloved Mother & Grandmother
Feb 9, 1924 - June 21, 1998

A woman with gumption, who could see right through anyone and was not afraid to tell you like it was. Word is that this is where Ms Cute Pants gets her sassiness from.

Loved hard boiled eggs and was often heard saying that she'd come back from the dead just to eat one.

An ambitious woman, she was the first woman in her family to go out and work.

Caught my Grandfather's eye one morning as she was on her way to work. They were married shortly after in 1945.

A nurse who moved to Dubai in the mid 70's to work as an expat and was often sent into interior areas due to her Nursing skills. (Pictured here with a Lebanese baby she helped deliver back in the day).

Had the best bargaining/haggling skills you'd have ever seen. Ms Cute Pants has seen and learned.

Loved her grandchildren dearly and was not afraid to show it.

Was an occasional smoker and so in an effort to mimic her, as kids, my brother & I would buy candied cigarettes, pop 'em in our mouths and pretend to smoke, saying: "Grandma, look we're smoking too." It is perhaps for this reason that she eventually stopped smoking (at least I'd like to think it was).

An absolute no nonsense woman and a firm believer in the adage: Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Would watch many Hindi movies (each a standard 3 hours long), only to proclaim at the end of each one: ah bundle, no? Which basically translated into: 'What a load of crap!' This never varied, even if it was a movie she liked.

Had the funniest phrases ready to use at a moment's notice which I'd not dare repeat here. My mother would disown me. (But if you're really interested, email me).

The best mother-in-law there ever was (and we all know how rare that is).

Was always fun to hang around with.

Suffered a stroke while in her 60's but came back with a bang and better than ever, not surprising given the kind of woman she was.

I dedicate this song to her. She'd blast it on the boom box and sing it to me when I was a wee toddler, complete with hand motions always telling me: 'This is our song'.
It sure is Grandma, which is why I have it on my playlist & think of you every time I hear it.

UPDATE:
A note from my Godmother:
That was a very beautiful tribute indeed to your grandmother. for your list i would like to add one more string of roses by telling you what a generous heart your grandma had. your mom who was (and is) my friend would tell her mom that I never liked the breakfast served in the convent, and I would go to school on an empty stomach. so your grandma would send additional toast cookies with butter for your mom to share it with me. your mom has inherited this noble quality. i do not know if your mom remembers it, BUT I DO. i never forget the kindness of people. we may not write often but your mom is always in my prayers.

Wind it up

I am back in the land of narrower winding roads some with breathtaking views of the ocean, minimal bugs (unlike Cayman) and Michael Jackson mixes on the 5 'o' clock drive home. Bermuda is all these things. This week I realize how much I missed driving on those winding narrow roads as they dip and turn, going as fast as I dare to. For that I am my father's daughter - we're always talking about the curviest roads in Toronto that we like to drive on at super high speeds - like the DVP for one. Cheap thrills, that is, until someone gets pulled over for a speeding ticket. And speaking of my dad, I mean to post this on Father's Day, but as usual, I missed the deadline. So, here's me at the age of probably under a year or so, with my Dad in Bombay. I only post this picture because, once again you probably won't recognize me from looking at it.

This one's for you, Mom

My mother's birthday falls in and around Mother's Day. This year it fell ON Mother's day. Being away makes it harder because I'm not able to celebrate it with the usual fan fare. Most expats arrange to have their mom's receive flowers and timely prearranged gifts. It makes up for their absence, slightly, if any. For the past three years, I've had to leave that upto my brother and ensure, with reminders, that it's her big day. What is it with men and forgetting birthdays? Ok, not all men but most men. Anyway, we try to make up for the fact that she's got to share her birthday with the other all important day. But mom's not so much of a stickler for things such as these. In her own words 'I'd rather forget my birthday'.

I decided to post this picture up and share it with you (and I'm bold enough to, since you won't recognize me from it). It's one of my favourites - me showing my bro some sisterly love, while my mom looks on. I've purposely cut him out of the picture, only because he insanely private and will probably disown me, should I post his picture up here, not to mention carrying out his threats of posting any and all unflattering pics of me for all to see. The fact that I'm even talking about him is ammunition enough. So, here's my brother, Newt; me, MsCutePants & our mom - from the good old days. This is also one of my mom's favourite picture. She's forever lamenting on how she wishes we had stayed this way forever. I'm sure every mother feels the same about their children.

And I just realized it but, my previous post was my 300th. So Happy 300th to me! Never mind that I failed to mark my 100th and 200th post.

A total eclipse of the...

When I was about three or so, I managed to burn my hand on a hot iron whilst my mother was ironing. I can't remember which hand it was, but I literally laid my palm flat against the hot iron as it stood upright on the board. I don't know why I did it. She did tell me moments before to be careful of the iron and that it was hot. Perhaps I wanted to find out what hot really meant. What do three year olds know anyway? Oh! you can imagine the tears, the howling and the screams that followed. My grandfather, who was living with us in Dubai at the time, gathered me up in his arms, as my mother applied the best salve she had. I continued screaming to no end. In an attempt to stop my howling, he took me up on the terrace of our villa and began to sing while pointing out the moon and stars (and boy could the man sing!). It was all so distracting, that I soon forgot all about my throbbing palm and stopped crying as the songs turned into stories about the stars in the sky. They say stars are brighter in a desert sky? It's true. I remember it all so clearly, even to this day. It's a lovely memory, and perhaps this is the reason why I have always been fascinated by the moon, the stars and astronomy. One of the neat things about Bermuda is that the stars shine brighter here and are more visible due to the absence of street lighting. This is a pleasure forgone when living in a big city. Visitors will actually notice without us even prompting or letting on. A full moon reflecting off the ocean is just as breathtaking. The pictures on the right taken during our first year is proof of just how beautiful the full moon can be. OK, so I love the moon, and that would make sense because I am such a night owl.

Last evening, I actually managed to check out The Royal Gazette online only to find that there would be a Total Lunar Eclipse taking place at around 9:00pm and apparently Bermuda would be the best place to be to view it. Amid my excitement, I called our landlady, MsStopYourNoise, only to have her tell me that it would be taking place around 11:00pm and that I should know not to trust The Royal Gazette by now. I told her there was no way I was going to miss the eclipse, no matter what time it made its debut. I got camera ready and headed out around 11:00 pm. Many many shots later and after fiddling around with the camera options, here are my a few of MY favourite shots (which don't do the actual sighting any justice whatsoever) taken with MY Sony Cybershot Digital Cam (that's literally on its last leg). Last night left me wishing I had my telescope here in Bermuda, so I could have got a closer look of the moon as it went from bright white to a deep red during the eclipse (absolutely gorgeous). Had I known earlier there was going to be an eclipse, I would have told EVERYONE! The Royal Gazette was right about one thing though: Bermuda just may have been the best place to view the eclipse, not only because of its mild cool evening, but because it offered us a view of the eclipse in a cloudless sky.
We would have celebrated my Grandfather's 96th birthday this Saturday the 24th. And so, Grandpa, this one's for you...for distracting me with the moon.

Your mom has an ipod ???

You've left Home to come here to work and reside on this island as an expat, but you've never really left home. Have you heard that before? No? Well, that's because I just made it up. When I say you've never really left home, I mean that you still carry it with you. Your hangouts, your routes, roads that you know like the back of your hand. If you're a woman, malls that you know like the back of your hand, and not to mention mall timings that have been ingrained in your memory. Frequent or once a year trips made back home will only reaffirm how much you have not forgotten your hometown and how these yearly trips home never really let you forget as you revisit your favourite haunts.

My mother is probably the most technologically involved female of her generation. I'm talking about an MS Office Advanced+ user, who knows the difference between Explorer and Firefox, who owns more iPods than most and is on her way to acquiring the new iPhone (apparently she can't wait and funnily enough her brother, UncleTigerBeer doesn't seem to get what the big deal is). Surprising, yes? Perhaps I take it for granted now, but where was this hip cool mom 20 years ago? Could you imagine the gadgets we'd have had as toys? Anyway, I realise not every mom of her generation is as technologically inclined as she is.

Case in point: a few years ago when I first mentioned in passing to my brother-in-law about my mom's iPod Mini, he looked at me with this shocked expression on his face and said (I kid you not) THREE times:
"Your mom has an iPod?"
"Yes" (in a matter of fact tone)
"Your mom has an iPod?" (with slightly more emphasis)
"Yes" (a little more matter of fact)
"Your mom has an iPod?" (with maximum emphasis)
"Yessssssss"
"Why?" says he.
"To listen to music." says I. "You know music? The thing that everyone listens to."
"Yes. Yes." says he. And then, "Oh." Like she's one of those moms.

Yes I know, I do have the memory of an elephant! Now I'm not going to give out her exact age, because this blog will be shut down faster than any one can say, 'Your mom has an iPod?' But suffice to say she's of the baby boom era, the LATE LATE baby boom era. So here she is, very computer savvy, knows all about MSN Messenger, Google Talk, Google Maps...the works. Oh and I can't forget YouTube. That one's her favourite. Not to mention iTunes (for how else would she be able to update her ipods). My dad's catching upto to her quite nicely, too! I mean this is what I came home to one evening after a night out during Christmas week in Toronto. Yes, they both actually have their own laptops (who needs a built in intercom when you need to get a message across while on different floors of the house - that's what cell phones and chat programs are there for!). But that's not what they're doing here. Here they are working.
So, for all their tech savvyness (we can blame my brother for this one), there are some things my mother will still message me (here in Bermuda) about my hometown that is Toronto, bearing in mind I haven't lived in Toronto for the past three years not counting the yearly one week visits.

Questions like:
"What time does the mall close on Saturday." (Yes, she means the mall by her Toronto home, my former place of residence, which also has its own website - the mall not the house).
"What bus route do I take if I want to get to Place X". OR
"What subway stop should I get off at, if I want to get to Place Y."

It's not that Mom's lazy because lazy is not a word in her dictionary, it's just that she claims she busy with other things. Sometimes I'll give her the answers right away if I know them or I'll look them up. But sometimes, just sometimes, I'll tease her saying: "You know Mom, I don't live in Toronto anymore. I've been in Bermuda for like three years now. You can't expect me to remember all this stuff anymore."

And her response is, "Well look it up. I'm too busy to do it. Besides, what else are you there for? You're my secretary."

As you can see, she's also a funny one. And since she'll read about this sometime today, first thing she'll say is:
Stupid Girl (with a slight Indian accent) Why are you writing about me???

And Hubby reading this will laugh at my Mom calling me Stupid Girl, since he's heard her call me that before and thinks it's hilarious that my Mom addresses me so. He's even dared to repeat it as he laughs. The nerve!

remember, remember the fifth of november

Last year on this day, Hubby & I were getting ready to watch V for Vendetta, a movie incidentally about the 5th of November. If you haven't watched it, I suggest today's as good a day as any. It's one of my favourite movies & on this particular day last year, it was all a coincidence really. We had some idea of what it was about but not the fact that it was about Guy Fawkes Day. I remember reading about Guy Fawkes as a child, fascinated with the fact that they'd in indulge a massive bonfire & burn a Guy Fawkes dummy. It reminded me of something similar, though set on a different day!

Growing up in Bombay, I lived in a neighbourhood of nine apartment buildings, with an apparent baby boom in the works during those days (must have been at least a 100 of us children at the time). And so because there were so many of us kids of varying ages, holidays & festivals of all religions were celebrated communally with much much fanfare. In India there are many festivals, as the government recognises quite a few religions which results in an abundance of public holidays. One of my favourites was New Years' Eve, where we children (under strict supervision) were able to partake in the largest bonfire every year & set atop it Old Father Time in the form of a dummy. Now I never knew where the dummies came from but I assume someone in the 'colony' would be kind enough to make it for us year after year. Old Father Time would crumple up in a blaze right before our very eyes, signalling in the New Year. The night also concluded with each of us receiving a party bag, filled with candies & mini toys. Ahh the memories! And while we'd get to stand around & watch the wood snap crackle & pop, we were hypnotised, for it was not often would we get to play with fire (literally speaking). Besides, what child can resist the lure of a flame. I know Hubby can relate - as a kid, he once set his carpet on fire. It was a small fire & easily doused when he realised what he'd done. However, explaining the burnt hole in the carpet to his parents when they got home was no easy feat. Kids & fire, especially bonfires, are like a moths to a flame.

And so! To my AN Colony friends...do ye remember those days? Thanks to the older guys for making it fun...You know who you are!

Guy Fawkes Day is still celebrated here in Bermuda. Not surprising, considering it's still a British Territory. I'm sure for many Bermudians, it's a chance to relive childhood memories & also to be able to pass the torch, so to speak, to their children. I'm sure I will get a whiff of one or two bonfires around the neighbourhood & I hope to scout the area for some photographic opportunities.

And last but not least, Guy Fawkes Day in our house is also known as Dad's birthday! My dad, of course!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD! Hope it's a fiery one!

moms have magic

Before I moved out of my parent's place, my mom & I would have our daily ritual of cooking dinner together. We'd often get home from work at the same time & so would begin our evening cooking & chatting about daily events, people we know, things of the past. Sometimes, we'd laugh so hard about something so silly, my brother Newt would mysteriously appear to find out what was so funny. He'd suddenly want to be in on our conversation.

Not much has changed since I've moved out. Sure we don't cook together anymore, but we still talk everyday, about everything & everyone. And since mom is quite internet savy it makes it easier to communicate. My Dad is sometimes amazed at the rate of speed that information gets to me before he's had a chance to tell me about it. So much so that he doesn't bother anymore. He starts off with: Well, I guess you already know or Well I'm sure mom's already told you. Sometimes, I have to pretend (at Mom's request) that I know nothing just to make Dad & Newt happy. But that doesn't even work anymore. Somehow they've caught on. Well they don't really read my blog so I can pretty much say what I want about them here & they'd be none the wiser.

I love that my mom & me are close. She had the same relationship with her no-nonsense mother & I grew up watching the same dynamic between my dad's sister & his mom. I would wish that when I grew up my mom & I would be able to have the same dynamic. And it's fun I tell you. Bitch sessions with your mom are the best. It just makes life more fun! Thanks mom for all the GOOD times! Hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day.

Here's a little something I came across earlier in the week that I thought too cute not to share:

Responses from school children in the US.

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between Moms & Dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!

momma

I meant to post this on mother's day but here it is now:

One of the most endearing things you'll hear in Bermuda is how Bermudians refer to their mothers. It’s never mother or mom or mommy but always momma. It never changes, now matter how old they are. It’s always my momma, your momma, her momma or his momma. Grandmothers are not spared either; they're referred to as my momma's momma. Quite a mouthful, but it definitely puts a smile on your face hearing a 30 or 40 something year old Bermudian calling their mom's or even their friend's mom, momma. You’ll never hear that anywhere else.

So to all you momma's out there, happy belated momma's day. Hope it was a good one !

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