bermuda's list

I don't know who made this list up but I stumbled upon it & it's too funny not to share. My favourites are the ones in bold

YOU KNOW YOU’RE BERMUDIAN WHEN...

• You know that Ginger Beer is much better than Ginger Ale
• You say “inna?” after almost every sentence
• You know the deeper meaning of “Johnny Barnes for Premier”
• Homegrown is your favorite live act
• You’ve pondered why we have two roads called “Middle”
• You know the difference between Hamilton and Hamilton Parish
• You know people with names like Trimingham, Bean, Trott, King, Ming, Ratteray, Foggo, Minors, Furbert, Talbot, Lightbourne, Gosling, Tucker, Dill, Tuzo, Simons, Simmons, Gibbons, Conyers, Crisson, Fox, Lambe, and Ray.
• You know the difference between a Bermudian and a St. David’s Islander
• You like the taste of alcohol
• You have an “Ace Boy” or “Ace Gurl”
• you have been called “Hamma” or “Bird” by a senior citizen
• You have used the word round-a-bout when giving directions
• Your house has a name
• You’ve seen a purple house
• You know the location of the world’s smallest Draw Bridge
• 30 minutes in a car is a stretch!
• Every land line phone number you know begins with 2
• You’ve only ever bought gas from Shell or Esso
• You know the significance of the colours “Blue n Blue” and “Red n Blue”
• You use a car horn to say hello
• Even your grandmother drives over the speed limit
• You fully understand the difference between Town and Country
• You know 90% of your country’s population
• Instead of Tipsy, Drunk, and Pissed; you say Half-Hot, Shree-Quartas, and Full Hot
• You have ever bought a Christmas tree, shirt, fish, or lobster out of a truck on the side of the road
• You know that Sunkist came in five flavours
• You consider Suzanne Holzhouser a celebrity
• You have survived both droughts of water and Corona
• There is a certain shade of blue that will always be burned in your memory as “Four Star Pizza Blue”
• Makin Waves, Four Star Pizza, Lindo’s, The Market Place, and Mr. Chicken are major corporations
• Dark n stormy isn’t just a term to describe the weather
• You’ve been drinking since you could hold a bottle
• It's not summer for you until the cruise ships block the view of the harbour
• You don’t swim until 24th may (at the earliest)
• You can say ‘yes der lova’ to a guy and its not gay at all
• You understand the difference between “Mix” and “Straight”
• You can make de nip on de rodent… and know what that means
• you can parallel park in 5 seconds flat - because otherwise guys would yell “You’re some sort a fossy?”
• The “Wildcat” is the closest you’ve ever come to a roller coaster
• Harbour Road is your Route 66
• There’s not enough radio stations to fill the preset buttons on your car stereo
• You’ve been ripped off by Leisure Time at least once
• You can identify a tourist without even talking to them
• You can wear pink shorts with knee socks and still feel manly
• You know that “up” is west and “down” is east
• You’ve lived through at least one hurricane and therefore the names Felix, Emily, Fabian, and Florence all have a deeper meaning to you
• Hurricanes are your Snow Days
• You don’t trust indicators on bikes cause you know di bye jus’ forgot to shut it off
• You have the ability to string sets of words into multi-syllabic masterpeices such as “duneinvorrywiffit”
• You replace ur v’s with ur w’s and vice versa (vacuum is prounoced wacuum and volleyball is wolleyball)
• You know Sonny
• You’ve risked your life climbing a weak tree that’s in someone else’s yard to reach that juicy loquat
• You have no friends, but ya got plenty much mates, mate!
• Every cell number you know begins with 3, 5, or 7
• "The Beach” has two definitions
• The closest you’ve ever been to Africa is Cafe Cairo
• You break ya neck just to watch the Ambulance or Police Car go past you
• You slow down or stop to help at car accident scenes
• That cockroach was as good as dead, but then that son of a bitch started flying and u were ‘on ur horse’ and outta there
• You’ve made the run
• You’ve been suspended for a pre-math Dark and Stormy
• Exercise is an affert
• You don’t “live” anywhere, but you “stay” somewhere on di rock
• You correct someone’s grammar but you’re both wrong.